My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
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