What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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