Me too!
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
