My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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