margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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