just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
