they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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