theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
