Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
