My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Every concussion has its silver lining
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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