Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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