no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize