you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
