You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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