Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
