Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
