i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
