I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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