He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
