we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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