I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
