my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
