that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
