The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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