just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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