New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
