walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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