The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Actions speak louder than pants.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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