If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
