So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
farters have to be the big spoon...
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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