I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
