Christians are straight up FREAKS
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
