I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
