i don't like sucking hair
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
