i may or may not be watching the land before time
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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