I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
