i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You made out with two different species that night
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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