Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
