Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You brought string cheese to the strip club
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