i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
