I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He did a backflip because drugs
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