Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
