that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
