i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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