An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
