She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
