her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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