I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
