I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Randomize
