last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
