Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I understand Curling. That high.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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