I cockslap morals
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
