it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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