Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize
