my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
