whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Randomize
