weddingsv make me drug and hornr
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
