I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
