Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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