im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i think i have herpe
just one?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
