Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
