"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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